Me and soong went for job hunting in the golden triangle this afternoon. We went straight to uniqlo as ah Sui gave us so much info and the pay is quite okay. We were so shy to ask as the counter were so busy with customers -.- then we went to pavilion first. We were scared of asking for jobs from shop to shop. We went forever 21 but nothing happens and we just went out lol. Later  we walked round and round in the pavilion mall and finally the first shop we got the guts to ask was Espirit and nope they do not need any part timer. After that, we were hunting like there is no tmr we walked past each store and look for the notice that they pasted on the glass door side. We asked more and more which we think suitable for us. Got turned down so many times. But we found this shop called Typo, a gift-stationary-decorations store. We saw the notice of "come and join the team", and so we asked the Mandy's sis lookalike cute store girl who I think veryyyy ngam for soong hehe... They told us they don't need extra hands too but their store in KLCC might need some ppl. After that, we put this on hold and went for other stores around pavilion first. We went for Ralph jeans which also states that the KLCC stir might need a hand. So finally it seems like KLCC is the only hope. Went for it and fill some forms and have to wait for reply. Walked around and soong bought his third Fred Perry shirt rich ass lol (nice colour Jo!) and then we got so hungry and went back to pavilion to have our early dinner. At first we thought of going back home but the hunting spirit didn't dimmed abit and so we walked around again to see if there were any possible shops we might left out. Nope. Then we walked again back to KLCC -.- to confirm our applications with Typo. Sadly they don't need us :( and the last hope was left with the Ralph jeans which will only give us reply on Monday -.- so at last we went to uniqlo and H&M. Good news they need part timers but they need resume and photos. So we need to go back again tmr. I didn't walk sooooooo much since a long long time. My legs are sore tired itchy pain. I need that money and I don't want my holidays just  like some shirty lazy ass. I am lazy but I could do better :) if I successfully apply for the job, this will be the first yo! Hehe. Longing for so long for part time job because this is a new experience plus with ah soong and I think. It will be good.


The  heirs finally ended and I surely miss it so much. It is the first Korean drama for me yay! And I am going to watch other when I have the time. I really do hope I can get my part time job done and set the schedule for this holiday properly and start my exercise routine together.  I want a different 2014 hehe

Just found out this cool feature in Facebook. Nice review of my 2013. nothing much happened though but yet another year has gone. I just finished my final exam ytd and now currently SEEKING for part time jobs soooooo badly... need some extra cash to use hehe :D

Had the first paper today. Hope for the best as the other paper will be the WORST.

Went to have dinner and yumcha with the gang. This makes me to feel warm in the cold city like this. Ann is still sooooo talkative and easy to get along with. Was working hard to keep friendship like this because i know once people are apart, very few will stick back like old days. Really hopes the gang can be maintained as good as it was, as close as we can get. Easy example, Ade and me were close during secondary school, we shared many things together, but my mind couldn't pick up anything good to talk with her just few days ago when I went for Soong's convocation. It was awkward situation and I had no idea what to do. Why do these things happen? When people live in different circle, we tend to have topics and happenings inside the circle only. Outsiders will find it difficult to pick up anything good to talk with. Easy conclusion, it is because different "channel". 

Actually, I find it a little bit hard too to talk with the gang sometimes because I am not in their daily lives. I didn't know what their lives going on. I didn't know what to ask too sometimes. But I always find some stupid topics to talk about as I do not want it to be a "cold situation". AHHHHHHHH... If we were all younger, we would not have this problem as we think less and talk more and care less about our dignity or what so ever. We should always "join in" and catch up so that we share the same memories. That's why we have yumcha and stuff right? So, put down your phone and talk, people!

在失去你的風景裡面 你卻佔據了每一條街 一步步曾經 一步步想念 在腳下蔓延

在充滿你的回憶裡面 我獨自流浪海角天邊 一步步走過 當時心願

I always thought that one of my closest friends in UTAR had some past experience as me. He shared this in Facebook just now and I could straight away feel it. I think both of us should share some time to talk about it maybe :)

I think I had changed and I am going to try again. Not to hope much, but just that I don't want to lose a special friend. Someone that I can share things with when I can't share it with the people surrounding me. We might end up with different people, and I hope the best for her and I hope she do too.

微笑后面到底藏了多少眼泪

多少的爱最后是因误解而终

对外的冰冷而内心的黑暗又有谁懂

爱真的很伟大

它能包容对方，无私奉献，互相学习，互相影响

为那独特的他而改变，有了对方的影子

爱真的很难

你所付出的不一定会有同等的回报

但谁有会在乎呢，因为有爱啊

而且每个人的爱都不一样

爱没有一个公式去记算，不能衡量

不能说谁是自私的

爱真的很脆弱

它需要呵护，珍惜，培养

距离是杀手

要克服唯有付出时间去经营和沟通

那是为什么会有聊不完的话题

爱真的很漫长

当熟悉了，习惯了

可能会淡了

困惑的那可能是有了默契还是真的不想说了

在这世上

有多少人在等待着爱

有多少人在寻找着爱

有多少人为爱拼命得打拼

有多少人为爱而忘我

有多少人在享受着爱

为爱，你敢吗？

This particular part reminds me the most, of you :)

My life is a mess now.
Everything is not sorted out.
And I am just standing there and watch my life being sucked down to the toilet.
Hate studies. Hate money shortage. Hate being single. Hate being used. Hate that fucking distance.
Fuckkkkk! Hate my surrounding. Hate my life. Hate myself. Stop being a fucking dumb shit!!!!!
Please please SATURDAY please be a reset button.

如果我看你看过的世界，走你走过的路，我会更靠近你一些吗？

sometimes i wonder did i take a wrong road to engineering.
what if i took law?
what if i applied JPA?

but after all, i am here, an engineering student in a local university.
others pursuing other courses have wonderful lives, colourful.
but hey, i am gonna make the best out of this, it is gonna be good too!
road to be professional engineer is a bumpy road.
so shut up and fight!

压力好大，自疑心好重。

“关于距离，最害怕的就是你不知道那个人是在想念你还是已经忘了你。”

你不是没完没了，是你没忘没了。
The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you.

i didn't watch glee for quite some time. but, since cory was dead and i have been waiting for this episode. this is really sad.

please hold someone dear to you closely.

年轻不要留白

不会忘记，也不可能忘记。
只是放手，只狠有缘无份。
就待有缘再续吧！

Just random.
Love watching Revenge and Modern Family.

Owen Yap ( 叶剑锋 )

“要有踏出第一步的意愿，不论这一步多么微小。”

一步很小，一生很长。
Starting on the path to change usually takes only 1 step. And this 1st little step will go a long way, longer than you could ever imagine. — atSalar de Uyuni

this guy has it. so often my life can be purely described by him at the particular moment.

End of exam, start of holiday. I will do what should be done.

the trip was good and there was one part where i got to reflect on my childhood and even teenage time.
it was kind of dramatical and to be a man, it do takes a lot of hard works. hopefully i still get the chances to do it since the feeling was super good, taste of freedom.

lots to be done. lots of promises made.

the other day one of my friends wrote: "to be successful, it is to give up what you are for what you what to become." and this was came up in my mind yesterday so strong until i always think about it now. it is so true. how many people are willing to change to be a better person. who could give up their existing attitudes, life routine, the ways of thinking, talking and the ways they handle things? give and take. before you take, you have to give up something or sacrifice someone and ultimately yourself? this knocks me really hard this time. it might be the philosophy of my life lol.

hope to be a better person, a better man. expect the unexpected, think beyond boundaries.

it is another good story. complex yet simple. it was kind of my life emotionally. all left behind with a polite smile.

试着放开，试着改变，才能重生，才能成长。

答应自己把那趟旅程当作回忆的坟墓吧！加油！

These are really really good.

我多希望我能和你有份合约吖。 

Ohhhhh time flies and September is just a step away.
It is final exam month for me and I am currently exhausted from all the workload.
Academic stuff aside, there is one thing that bothers me.
It seems it is really over by now, lets forget and move on.
Am I so dumb to wait for the worst to come?

i watches triumph in the skies every night
because
it is a good drama
childhood memories
bunch of good actors and actresses
pilots are way so cool



i want to know England better
and i know you have been for the few places
how i wish i could go to England
one day oh one day

yesterday a sad news came in late in night
a friend of my friend past away
she had brain cancer, treated, getting well
but last sunday afternoon her brain pressure increase suddenly
she was then in coma, stated the brain had stop functioning
until yesterday night, she lost her heartbeat and certified dead
RIP
deepest condolences to her family and friends

love the ones who love you more than themselves
even some people truly in love end up breaking apart
they never regret because the memories that left behind are
precious

"dream as if you live forever
live as if you die tomorrow"

haters gonna hate
believers gonna dream
whatever i think is tough
blaming my life to be dull and soulless
think of others out there gasping air for life
live now, love now, you will never know what ahead of your life
hold tight,
the ship starts sailing

有遗憾才会记得，会记得才会有回忆

me being dumb
looked back those silly conversations
i have to admit i had changed
replaced by this current dull soul

how could i bring back the youthful soul?
i am not him anymore damn
should i blame the society? the culture? the uni? or MYSELF?

fuck the feeling of being used.
you fucking retard doesn't have a brain to think
i didn't give a damn to you and i didn't promise you of ANYTHING!
you are so gonna pay for this shit
i ain't goona let this happen for nothing FUCKER!!

Just came across this through Facebook...
LINK

I just had confirmed something that I’ve known about myself for a while, but did my best to ignore. I have trouble with allowing myself to live within the moment. I prefer to spend my time planning and contemplating the future — my future. I like to have my days and weeks planned. I like to know where things are going and what I should expect; to get a decent picture of this, I spend most of my time inside my own head calculating probabilities and reading people. I cherish my ability to think the way that I think and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well, to be completely honest what I wish I were more capable of and what I understand I need to work on is my inability to appreciate things in the moment — while they still hold life. Events have an intrinsic value in and of themselves. Each action, happening, moment, minute, second has intrinsic worth — each and everything that happens with each passing moment is unique and will never be repeated. Am I the only one that has trouble accepting things for what they are? Am I alone in having trouble letting moments go when they wear out their longevity and play out their purpose?

Having a mind that always tries to stay two steps ahead is fantastic when it comes to your career, your business or anything else requisite of a more in-depth strategic approach. When it comes to matters of the heart, however, thinking into the future can be your worst enemy. Love is an extremely complex living thing. It comes in waves of different lengths, sizes and durations.

It has no one shape or face. It comes and goes, making appearances in different points in our lives, involving different people — never the same yet always clearly understood as love. I have come across one of the many faces of love several times in my life and each time I have made the same fatal mistake. I am a very egocentric individual and have a strong tendency to think about myself first and foremost — so when strong, pleasant emotions make themselves present, I do my best to hold onto them; it’s as if I try to collect them for myself. I like them because they feel good and because I want to always feel that way, I grasp onto them with all my strength.

The only issue is that by trying to grab onto them, I am letting those special, rare moments slip away from me entirely. I am not sure if any of you can relate to this, but I have had to face the reality that by contemplating over where a relationship (even one in its earliest stages) is headed I miss out on what is going on in the moment — in the moments when I am still able to talk to and hold her, spend time with her and enjoy her company. Personally, I blame pop culture; all those movies I watched growing up embedded in me the belief that love is meant to last forever.

That only true love lasts forever and that in order to be happy, we must create and keep such a love. But, why? Why do we believe that love must be a lasting thing? Why is it that we feel that love must live between us for eternity in order for it to be real, for it to matter? Why can’t love last for a month, a week or a brief moment and still be dubbed as love?

Maybe love can be eternal — this is not to say that it must be. I had spent the last year or so thinking about one specific girl and wondering whether we could possibly have a future together. We are great when we are together, but being together often is an impossibility. Nevertheless, I love a good challenge and the fact that she lived across the pond only made the whole experience more enticing. I visited her recently for about a week and had an amazing time — although we haven’t seen each other in months we still worked well together; we fit like two puzzle pieces.

However, this girl and myself are very different and we have very different ways of living reality. While I’m a dreamer and a planner she’s an “in the moment” kind of person. She has the ability to enjoy the present in a way that I can only hope of one day being able to. She was able to love in the moment and then let go. I on the other hand, although understanding that that moment was to be the last was unwilling to accept it and unwilling to fully experience it.

Instead of allowing the moment to consume me, I spent much of my time worrying about where things would be going. I was worrying about what would happen next even though I very well understood that what was going to happen next was that I would hop on a plane and go back to New York. I knew that we would do our best to keep communication — at first — and that eventually we would drift apart and have nothing left between us but the memories past. This bothered me — I didn’t want to accept it.

If I feel love then I should do everything in my power to keep it alive, right? Maybe not… maybe that’s not the point. Why should I do my best to keep something alive when all forces are doing their best to bury it? The fact is that all moments come and go. Some are beautiful and others are horrid — but nevertheless they all come and they all go. Our life is but one quick fleeting moment that we are blessed to live out in slow motion. In the end all we are left with is memories — the shadows of those magnificent moments that gave our lives meaning.

Alfred Lord Tennyson hit the nail on the head when he wrote that it’s “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” All love is lost sooner or later. Instead of trying our hardest to hang onto it and force it to weather all storms, would it not be better to allow love itself and all the circumstances surrounding it to dictate its longevity? Would we not be better off spending our focus on the love that we are experiencing in the moment rather than contemplating over how long the love will last, on whether it will turn into something grander or whether it will fizzle and fade?

The love you are experiencing — just as the love I experienced — has a finite start and end date. It may only last for a few months or years, or it could last until your dying breath, but regardless of all this — it will end. The only options that you have are to either spend that finite time contemplating and rationalizing the moment or…or you could spend that time living it. Choose the latter. It’s always the better path.

Photos via Tumblr 

my life is so fucked up

and

i miss you.

i had this dream the other day. a vivid one.
how wish it could be real and i would never wake up.
i remember every detail of it and the feelings were so real.
i was thrilled, anxious, passionate and adventurous.

and this recent rumour has tell me that everything is possible, still.

Today is supposed to be a day-off for me. free, flexible and enjoy.
but, at this point of my life, everything seems uncertain.
don't jump for joy for something that you haven't get in you hand.
even if you got it tight to your chest, you have to maintain it so it would be forever yours.

i am so so sorry for what i said back then.
it was just a simple sentence for me, but now i know it could hurt you deeply.
i was so dumb and naive and i wish you could forgive me.
stay strong and may it be a turning back or a greater future awaits.

i am always a suspicious type of person.
but more often i ignore what i suspect and move on.
because often times i do not hope what i suspect turn out to be the truth.
yes, i am a coward.

i am sorry.
and i just simply cannot move on with my life.
may the workloads consume me please.

The most annoying thing happens all the time when the semester starts. I hate this part the most. It is a bad opening to me due to those fucking selfish fools. It is crystal clear that the society nowadays behaves that way. There are much evil people out there.

I thought I could have an easy-go on this but apparently not. This time is a different game bitches. Nothing is difficult when I put all the efforts into it, at least I wouldn't be regret of doing less. Let's start the game fuckers!!!!

Today I read back some old chats... I was such an armature in certain stuff, so selfish, so brainless and so much of emotion-controlled. It's time to end it and I really wish I hadn't done so much harm. I am truly sorry. This does hurts because I have lost one good good friend.

There are so much things I want to do and so less time.
I am so tiny and the huge world is just mysterious.
Work hard yo!!

so much alike.

Am recently into blogs. Craving for some real stories to read on as I am having a sad life. I should be grateful but just sometimes I hate it so much. Don't want face certain facts and I am sick of my daily lives. Ahhhhhhhh I should have do what I should do instead of using the phone to type this shit again.   I am desperate. Desperate for holidays and just pls give me a break okay! Chiao!!