too much from a phonecall

Today is supposed to be a day-off for me. free, flexible and enjoy.
but, at this point of my life, everything seems uncertain.
don't jump for joy for something that you haven't get in you hand.
even if you got it tight to your chest, you have to maintain it so it would be forever yours.

i am so so sorry for what i said back then.
it was just a simple sentence for me, but now i know it could hurt you deeply.
i was so dumb and naive and i wish you could forgive me.
stay strong and may it be a turning back or a greater future awaits.

i am always a suspicious type of person.
but more often i ignore what i suspect and move on.
because often times i do not hope what i suspect turn out to be the truth.
yes, i am a coward.

i am sorry.
and i just simply cannot move on with my life.
may the workloads consume me please.